Crusoe in South East Asia

Left the internet cafe after writing the post earlier and enquired about the Vietnamese cooking lessons. Cost was just over $20 which is a hell of lot of money in Vietnam. Walking out of the shop I found myself hiring a motorbike for $5 off some old woman in the street. No need for driving license and deposit wasn’t even necessary. Not sure about their business strategy but hey, it worked for me.

Learnt to ‘drive’ in 15 minutes and then spent the rest of the day cruising around the town. Didn’t have an accident. My 4th day on a motorbike accident free (except this time I was driving!). I had huge amounts of fun and worked up quite a tan on the back of the bike. What was scarier than being on the bike was realising there might be other people with as little ability to drive the scooter as me. Bear in mind, there are no pavements in Vietnam. Everybody walks in the street.

Crusoe’s Ride

Went to a cafe and talked to a Swiss guy and a Parisian woman. Ordered some Cau Lao, a speciality of the region. ‘Its like noodle soup without the soup’ the swiss guy described it. Oddly enough, despite the strange explanation this was exactly how it tasted. The Parisian girl’s claim to fame was her name was in the end of harry potter IV in post prediction. I asked her which effects she created and she explained how they created Sirius’s head in the fire. I’ve met all sorts travelling. My favourite was the guy who helped make the video game Burnout (loved that game!)

Went for a drink in a bar in the afternoon (still on the scooter) and ordered a cocktail to make a change from beer. I know you’re going to hate me for this, but I ordered a B52 cocktail….the girl sitting next to me didn’t really understand the connotations of ordering a B52 in Vietnam. If you don’t….God help you. Turns out their cocktails weren’t really cocktails but in fact triple shots. Never ordered a B52 so didn’t really know what to expect, although it sounded nice on the menu. Made  driving on the scooter a bit more relaxing though I have to say…

B52 ‘cock-tail’

In the bar they also had a huge jar filled with alcohol, 7 snakes, a lizzard, a bird and god knows what else. Turns out this is supposed to be very good for your back. Was tempted to have some, however, my back was not that painful to justify the tonic just yet…

7 Snake Drink +Assortment of other animals

Visited the restaurant where I’d eaten the night before as they’d been very friendly. Got some free food and soya milk (being Aussie really does help) and then got invited to go to one of the waitresses friends shops. We sat in her shop (a tailor shop) and the girls ordered a round of beer. At this point I was a bit confused as to what the agenda was. (healthy paranoia growing). I’ve heard stories of travellers getting taken advantage of by being asked to pay the bill at the end (which is extremely over priced- sometimes over 100$). I told them I didn’t have enough money to pay but they didn’t seem to care and ordered more drinks. Turns out they didn’t have many customers and so were just happy drinking. Although, now I think of it the atmosphere was very bizarre. They ordered squid (which appeared through the doorway of the shop from someone outside). The squid was dried and then dipped in chilli. Was actually quite tasty except incredibly chewy. As most travellers will know, after a long day in the sun with little food and sleep alcohol is a lot more potent. Hence, when the 2 round came I got a bit alarmed at how drunk I was getting (especially as I’d already been drinking earlier). I then remembered how the woman at the restaurant had kept telling me how I was handsome and kept on joking about girlfriends. It was at this point I got alarmed at to what exactly was going on.

Turned out, its just their sense of humour after all (I think). A phone call later and she disappeared to go back to her shop. Being a westerner in Vietnam can be a bit weird at the best of  times. Vietnamese girls often want to marry western guys due to the cash bonus that comes with it…

Headed to a few nearby beaches on my motorbike. The 2nd when I arrived at was more beautiful and the sunset was incredible. A pimp walked up to me on the beach and started trying to sell me something. I ignored him but he persisted so I made non-committal noises. He carried on and out of curiosity I started listening to try and make out what his broken English was trying to say. At this point I made out “Do you like bum-bum?”

Wasn’t sure if I knew exactly what he was getting at until his next line. This was when I realised he was a pimp.  “Do you like to fuck?”

Seemed bizarre that I was at the beach at 7pm and the only white person around and then just asked so blatantly. I walked away and took some photos of the sunset and, after it was getting dark as I headed to my motorbike to attempt to get back before nightfall I noticed him 200m away on top of a sand dune waving for me to come over. Guess thats where he ran his business from….

Locals on ‘pimp’ beach

Went to bed exhausted (not from illicit activities at the beach however) after driving home on the motorbike. Drove past rice field after rice field and the last rays of the sun made it look closer to anything I’ve ever imagined heaven to look like. Went to bed tired but happy, preparing for a 5am start the next day, where I intended to drive to a nearby jungle temple.

The next day that waited me had a lot instore for me…as did the early morning….

Been busy guys. Will update later.

Still in Hanoi at the moment. But a big flood has come (been raining for all night and no drains here)  and Im stranded in an internet cafe near my hotel. Cant reach the bank to pay for the hotel and cant walk accross the street to the tourist info to find out about the minibus  to get to the airport! Flood is too deep!
If I do make the crossing of the flood  I’ll be in Da Nang by the end of the day. Gotta catch a flight there. May not internet for a while so will try and write stuff on paper for the blog.Just took an awesome picture of the street flooded but cant put up as I dont have a cable for my camera here.

Wish me luck!

I’ll be back!

p.s A passing car just sent a wave of the flood off the street into the internet cafe….(theres no door/wall)

Part II

I think today was cursed. First the flood, then the afternoons events paled the morning in comparison. I’ve travelled thousands of miles for now just about 3 weeks and without any mishaps. Today, the first major problem occured. And hopefully, my last.

The staff at the ACD hotel, my base for Hanoi, all seemed to suffer chronic depression. I tried not to complain about the place but wasnt the best of places to stay in. For example, the bathroom felt smelt of shit put the toilet seat down I found rotting toilet rolls that had turned brown with age…Not sure if that was causing the smell but I doubt it helped.

This morning, I found myself locked in my hotel room. Now this was entirely my fault and was due to me locking myself in my room each night for security. Except this time I’d completely forgotten where I’d placed the key. To make matters worse, I’d woken up with a terrible stomach ache and felt not exactly top of the morning. It had been my intention to visit the Ho Chi Min mausoleum at around 9.30. This is where Ho Chi Min’s  (the Vietnamese Communist leaders) body  has been stuffed for members of the public to come gawk at. Unfortunately, my stomach wasn’t up for it especailly due to the food poisoning.

There was one plus point to losing my keys however. Hunting under my bed amongst the cigarrete buts and inches of dirt/dust, I found Michael Palin hiding, the book I thought I’d left on the plane from Singapore. Now I can find out if he made it round the world in 80days!

A taxi picked me up from my hotel earlier than required but this was due to the rain, I’d been unsure how much time I’d need to allot to getting to the airport because of the floods. About 3/4 of the way there, I realised I was mising something. Something pretty important. My passport! Now it just so happened, my taxi spoke no english. Doing Charades for I have no passport is pretty difficult but somehow I managed it. Before I turned around though he demanded I gave him more money. Felt furious about how stupid I’d been not to remember the passport and hence having to go over budget by 15USD.

The flood:

Was beating myself up when I realised, it wasn’t really the end of the world. Nobody was dead, I hadn’t lost my money, I got my passport back, and most importantly I was still alive. Still plenty of time for something else to happen!

My new hotel room I had a visitor waiting for me. Made me jump out of my sunburnt skin:

Hot off the press! Minutes ago just recieved the email. 2009—-Year of the Crusoe!

Celebrations have been arranged and the party scene is looking good in Hanoi.

Found out the other day from some other travellers that apparently Thai Redbull contains speed…. I was drinking redbull out of a bucket on Ko Phi Phi….Would have explained why I was awake till way past 4am and felt wide awake!
Still no side effects. not even a hangover the next day.

Don’t worry about me though…Thai Redbull is illegal in Malaysia. Going Singapore tomorow so maybe I could find it there? (just messing)

Will fill in day 14 when I’ve found some more Redbull/got more energy…

Crusoe

Note Sources:

Ty-the aussie guy and just googled it:

“It is rumoured that Thai Red Bull contains speed or something very like it. The mystery being enhanced by the fact that it is manufactured by a pharmaceutical company and sold in small medicine bottles. I don’t know what the composition of the stuff is, but it is certainly not the same as the UK Red Bull. The buckets began to sink down rather quickly. It’s wierd getting drunk but maintaining complete alertness.”

Thai Redbull aint like this